You Win, Bank of China. Now Give Me My Money, Please?

I hope everyone had a fun filled and green and possibly boozy Saint Patrick’s day yesterday.

So I have these two students, they have vaguely similar names. Let’s call them Jiayi and Jay. That’s about how similar they are-sure, I guess they both start with “J” but they are very different sounding, as in, if someone were to call me up and tell me that Jay had canceled class, I would show up for the class that I had scheduled with Jiayi. Only to wait there for half an hour and then be told that it was Jiayi who canceled, and clearly I made the mistake. Oh wait, except who is the native English speaker? Oh yeah, that would be me. Waste of my goddamn time. Every time there is a scheduling mis-communication it’s because this one girl who calls me and tells me the wrong thing, and then when I get to the office at the wrong time/day/don’t show up, tells the other girls it’s because I’m an idiot. Frustrating.

After sitting around doing nothing and then realizing that I had, in fact, been misinformed, I went to my cooking class at the Kitchen which was therapeutic and filled with tasty to things to eat. Another class with the adorable Peach in the afternoon, and then I met Bambi and Ginny for pizza and trivia with a thermos of “tea.” And by tea I mean the Irish kind and by that I mean Jameson, because clearly even in Beijing this part-Irish girl is going to celebrate in style, and by celebrate in style I mean the boys asked me to bring them whiskey. How they are corrupting me. I ordered a coffee, and the waitress nodded and said right away, and then just disappeared and never came back. Twenty minutes later, I flagged down another waiter and asked where my coffee was. “Oh, I’m sorry, we don’t have any.” Well, okay, then, why didn’t the first girl tell me that? I ordered a tea with lemon instead and fashioned myself a delicious hot toddy. It was a fairly calm and quiet night after trivia, more Star Wars and tea and bed at a reasonably early hour.

I needed to pay rent this morning. In order to do that I needed to access my money. Good thing for me, I have two sources for that-my Bank of China account, and my Bank of America account, because Bank of China did not want to cooperate, and I had to withdraw from my American account.

Bank of China refused to validate my pin number, so I went online to check it out. Bank of China has the least intuitive website in the world that doesn’t allow you to register your online account until you download some creepy security program they insist upon, and also until you open a telephone account. Bank of China instructed me to call a number. Bank of China has an English option where a robot voice mumbles in the most unintelligible English I’ve ever heard. Honestly, I am unable to register the account that I have already opened because I can’t understand a goddamn word of something that is supposedly in my own language. This is vaguely problematic and by vaguely I mean I don’t want to download some random program onto my computer that I have no idea of what it will do, and I was able to make out that I need to in put some numbers on the phone call, but I have no idea which ones, and really, I would like to be able to use my bank account.

More classes await, and then seeing if I can fix Bambi’s pants-Ginny borrowed a pair of Bambi’s khakis to wear to the office and then somehow ripped a hole in the side without being aware of it, and of course neither of them can sew. Sometimes, I feel like their mother.


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